Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps ... But Audience Members Do Sleep!

Earlier this year I wrote a preview post regarding "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps" (now in theatres and the No. 1 film of the weekend).

The May 2010 prediction that the film "might suck" unfortunately came true, though it was not as bad as this blogger expected when purchasing my ticket.

Add this film to the pile of sequels that failed to live up to the original.

A few highlights on the "disappointed" side:

• David Byrne, Brian Eno and the Talking Heads tunes return to the soundtrack. Sadly, the songs went overplayed (one tune in particular seemed to crop up over and over, with no instrumentals of the first film; instead, a lackluster Craig Armstrong mix played in some scenes, prompting the question, "does this theatre sell No-Doz?"
• Though the motorcycle "chase" of the trailer proves to be more of a "competitive ride" for boss and employee, the whole scene was unnecessary and, ultimately, another in a series of poorly written dialogue punctuated by a predictable and forgettable "F*ck You!" (c'mon, in the original, the dialogue had much more clever angry exchanges ... for instance, "When I get a hold of the son of a bitch who leaked this, I'm gonna tear his eyeballs out and I'm gonna suck his f*cking skull!"-- now, that is some dialogue!)
• The set-up for the motorcycle scene begins with a Manhattan helicopter ride for Shia LaBeouf that is reminiscent of those ridiculous Scottrade chopper ads that subtly showcase that "with every spin of this rotor, we're burning your investment money in the form of jet fuel."
• No Daryl Hannah. They dug up the 100+ year old Manhattan realtor from the first film, but could not find a way to bring back Daryl Hannah.
• Whoever the actress is playing Gordon Gekko's daughter = poor man's Katie Holmes, with bad hair. Future viewers may consider drinking games built around the volume of crying scenes for this performance. "She's crying again -- take another shot!"
• What in the world were they thinking, writing in two (lame) scenes for Susan Sarandon? Hello -- she is an Oscar winner, and like Sigourney Weaver in "Avatar," Sarandon's talent was totally wasted.
• No Terence Stamp. I got hopeful of a cameo by Stamp when Gekko set up shop in London for the sequel. Alas, no Stamp.
• Little or no actual footage of Wall Street (the geographic location).

During the course of the film, an on-screen graphic sequence pops up from time to time, taking a panoramic skyline shot and converting it into a graph of declining stocks. This might as well have been a flat line or a heart monitor -- I found myself squirming in my seat several times, shaking my head, asking why "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps" was so drawn out and downright boring.

Photo via this MSN link and 20th Century Fox

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (might suck)

Today I stumbled onto the trailer for "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps" -- the sequel to Oliver Stone's outstanding "Wall Street" of 1987.

Unfortunately, not impressive.

My first hangup is that, according to the trailer, the plot features Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) trying to patch things up with his estranged daughter. HELLO -- the original film features G.G. as a proud father of a chubby BOY (not a daughter) in a few family shots with Gekko's on-screen spouse (the socialite played by Sean Young).

Obvious factual errors/inconsistencies from one film to its sequel = huge pet peeve.

Another trailer item that bothers me about the sequel is the apparent absence of any of the other key players from the original. Where is Terence Stamp, who played Gekko's fellow power baron who "could buy the stock just to burn [Gekko's] ass!"?

Where is Daryl Hannah, G.G.'s bombshell interior designer? And what of Ms. Young, or James Spader? None of their "Wall Street" characters made the cut for part two, according to IMDB.

According to news reports from Cannes, where a preview screening of "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps," there is a cameo from Bud Fox (Charlie Sheen). But no Martin Sheen -- makes sense he would not appear again (since the Bud Fox character, his son, is not a key player in part deux).

Are the writers of the sequel so weak they couldn't find creative ways to bring back the original cast?

The Terence Stamp character alone -- and his role in the Gordon Gekko take down in the original film -- need some closure: Did Sir Larry Wildman (Stamp) go to the clinker as did Gekko? I hope this question is answered when the film makes it stateside in September.

The previews for the "Wall Street" sequel are also spoiled by the selected music -- the original film had great tunes by Frank Sinatra, David Byrne and others. The "Money Never Sleeps" trailer is punctuated by a hit by The Rolling Stones, indicative of another way the sequel diverges (down a poorly chosen road) from the original.

And a motor cycle chase? WTF?!?

The new characters portrayed by Carey Mulligan, Josh Brolin and Shia LaBeouf ... boring, plain, yuk.

Frank Langella, apparently portraying one of the Feds ... barf.

About the only entertaining thing about the trailer was the scene of Gekko checking out of prison, receiving his brick-sized Motorola mobile phone from the beach scene in movie one.

Like Gekko trying to re-use that phone in modern times, I suspect viewers of "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps" may anticipate only "bad service."

Photo via IMBD and Twentieth Century Fox